Learn to Recognize Expectations for What They Are to Avoid Chasing Perfection, and the Let Down – Disappointment, Shame & Resentment


  1.  Expectation.  Firstly, Identify the expectation.  What is the expectation?
  2.  Recipient.  Who is the recipient of the of this expectation?  We are shaped, raised and brought up by our parents, religious and societal values to live up to certain expectations, expectations of ourselves.  Stop and assess, is this expectation one that I have of myself therefore I have it for this other individual? Be curious about where this expectation comes from. Could you be projecting your own beliefs of the way something should happen or be done on to someone else?  Is this expectation fair?  Is it really at the root of who you are?
  3. Agree.  Does the recipient even know this expectation exists?  Did they agree to the expectation?  Has this expectation been clearly communicated and received freely with pure intention of execution?  Has it been verbalized or agreed to in writing or could it be a construct of your mind that assumes the individual should naturally know of the expectation?
  4. RealiStic.  Is the expectation realistic?  Knowing what you do know, can this person deliver?  Is the expectation reasonable and aligned with who this person is, what you know about them, and who they are free to be?
  5. FreE.  Free the person from the expectation.  Send love and gratitude for the source of this expectation, for seeing the expectation for what it is, where it came from, and free the person from this expectation.

It can often help to ask yourself how you feel when people expect you to do things that are inconsistent and not aligned with your own goals & values.

Peace begins when expectation ends

-Sri Chinmay

Expectation is the root of all heartache